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frathypenlong time no see
i dont even remember the last time i opened this website lol. the last few months of my life have been rough. i was in this massive depressive episode from august to december, i barely remember much of those four months.
ive been feeling much better lately, though. in early december me and my roommates deep cleaned the apartment for M's parents visit and it sort of flipped a switch in my brain lol. ive been able to get myself up off the couch in the mornings (yes i sleep on the couch as of right now, too much to explain) and im able to yknow, do normal human adult things i just couldnt bring myself to during those few months. i officially started weekly therapy sessions this month too, which feels really good actually. theyre every monday and ive only had two sessions so far but im hopeful about it. im hopeful for 2026 in general.
i turn 23 tomorrow and im hopeful about it. im still rather anxious about growing up (arent we all?) but i dont feel all encompassing dread and fear at the idea of my birthday this year. i am a little embarrassed about how slow i have been about getting my life together, or trying to anyways. my roommates both seem so much more adept to growing up, becoming an adult. becoming someone. which logically i know theyre not much further ahead than i am, but theyre still ahead. 23 feels like a serious number. like if i dont have my shit together by 24 im fucked. they actually take you out back and shoot you. its true it happened to a buddy of mine.
anyways, i know im sort of just speaking into the void here and who knows if ill keep this up? i have a journal now that i write everything in and i have my priv with everyone i care about in it. idk. also who remembers me saying i wanted to do daily song recommendations lol look what happened to that. i cannot commit to anything. sorry about that...
thanks 4 reading if you did,
-saturn
i dont even remember the last time i opened this website lol. the last few months of my life have been rough. i was in this massive depressive episode from august to december, i barely remember much of those four months.
ive been feeling much better lately, though. in early december me and my roommates deep cleaned the apartment for M's parents visit and it sort of flipped a switch in my brain lol. ive been able to get myself up off the couch in the mornings (yes i sleep on the couch as of right now, too much to explain) and im able to yknow, do normal human adult things i just couldnt bring myself to during those few months. i officially started weekly therapy sessions this month too, which feels really good actually. theyre every monday and ive only had two sessions so far but im hopeful about it. im hopeful for 2026 in general.
i turn 23 tomorrow and im hopeful about it. im still rather anxious about growing up (arent we all?) but i dont feel all encompassing dread and fear at the idea of my birthday this year. i am a little embarrassed about how slow i have been about getting my life together, or trying to anyways. my roommates both seem so much more adept to growing up, becoming an adult. becoming someone. which logically i know theyre not much further ahead than i am, but theyre still ahead. 23 feels like a serious number. like if i dont have my shit together by 24 im fucked. they actually take you out back and shoot you. its true it happened to a buddy of mine.
anyways, i know im sort of just speaking into the void here and who knows if ill keep this up? i have a journal now that i write everything in and i have my priv with everyone i care about in it. idk. also who remembers me saying i wanted to do daily song recommendations lol look what happened to that. i cannot commit to anything. sorry about that...
thanks 4 reading if you did,
-saturn